Risks
Online grooming
When an adult builds trust with a child online in order to exploit them, often by steering the child to keep the relationship secret from parents.
- Parents
- Educators and school leaders
What parents should know
Online grooming is an adult gaining a child's trust in order to exploit them. Secrecy is the warning, not a specific app. If your child is being told to hide a chat, tell you nothing, or move to a place you cannot see, treat that as a reason to act. Report to NCMEC. This page stays at warning signs and what to do.
On this page
What is online grooming?
Grooming is a pattern of manipulation. An adult, sometimes pretending to be another child, offers attention, gifts, or advice, and then pushes the relationship somewhere harmful. NCMEC describes online enticement as someone communicating with a child online with the intent to exploit them. You do not need the exploitative details to recognize the setup.
The practical signs are about secrecy and isolation. A new online friend the child will not name. Gifts, game currency, or rides that appear without a clear source. Pressure to use a chat you cannot open. Anger or fear when you are near the device. Instructions not to tell you. One sign can be ordinary teenage privacy. Several together are a reason to ask and to get help.
Why online grooming matters
Children comply because they were kind, curious, or scared, not because they failed a test. Blame makes the next conversation shorter. The adult's job is to stop the contact, keep the child close, and report. Investigating the other person yourself can warn them and can expose you to illegal images. Leave that to NCMEC and law enforcement.
A product that invites secrecy is a bad fit. An assistant that a parent can read is not a guarantee. It does remove one hiding place. Say that the chats are visible, so a stranger's request to keep a secret has somewhere to collide with a house rule.
How it shows up in practice
- A child hides a chat and says the other person told them you would not understand.
- Unexpected gifts show up from someone the family has not met.
- The child wants a new app specifically because this one lets a parent see messages.
- A parent reports to the CyberTipline instead of forwarding screenshots to relatives.
How HeyOtto helps
HeyOtto does not claim to detect grooming. A parent creates the account and can read the chats. Otto does not ask a child to keep the conversation secret. Topic limits are per child. If a conversation shows distress, HeyOtto sends a parent alert and shows crisis resources in the chat. It does not auto-contact emergency services. If you suspect exploitation, report it at report.cybertip.org.
- Tell your child you can read the chats. A secret relationship depends on you not looking.
- Alerts are email, SMS, in-app, or a daily digest. They are not a substitute for a report.
- Do not forward exploitative images. Use NCMEC.
For families
Try freeFAQs
What are the warning signs?
Secrecy about a particular friend, gifts you cannot explain, pressure to chat where you cannot see, fear when you pick up the device, and being told not to tell a parent. One of these can be normal. A cluster is a reason to ask, stay with your child, and contact NCMEC. Netsmartz publishes family guidance on online enticement.
What should I do tonight?
Stay calm and do not blame your child. Stop the contact if you can do that without a confrontation that tips the other person off in a dangerous way. Report at report.cybertip.org. If a child is in immediate danger, contact emergency services. If they are in distress, 988 is available in the United States. Do not try to trap the other person yourself.
Should I read their messages?
If you suspect exploitation, yes, and tell them why when you can do it safely. On HeyOtto the parent account can read chats. Hidden monitoring of ordinary life can break trust. Suspected grooming is not ordinary life. Do not send sexual images onward while you are checking.
Where do I report?
In the United States, report online exploitation of a child to NCMEC's CyberTipline at report.cybertip.org. NCMEC's Netsmartz page on online enticement is written for families. This glossary page is not a report and not legal advice.
Sources
Last reviewed September 26, 2026. This entry is reviewed twice a year.